mookipie
Master
Someone once told me I should get a life... do you think I could get one off ebay?
Posts: 328
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Post by mookipie on Jul 3, 2006 12:17:18 GMT -5
I'm really rather bored, so I've decided to show you all my poetry. I actually won a competition with this rubbish  . It is a poem I wrote for an old friend of mine:
You and I
We were best friends, you and I,
Since the days when we were small,
Your fourth birthday, when,
I ate all your chocolate,
And you cried.
The precious hours we spent, you and I,
Playing with our toys.
Locked in my heart,
Like gems in a treasure chest,
Forever.
The little world we shared, you and I,
All of our own,
No one else's.
Young imaginations blooming,
Like flowers in spring,
Like our friendship.
Then why do we drift apart, you and I?
The days we spent, those happy childhood days.
Do they mean nothing to you?
The joys and troubles we shared,
Forever lost.
Only faded memories remain,
Of times we spent together,
You and I.
Rather awful, I know... tell me what you think. Please, be brutal. I DID write it in about 10 minutes, so it could use a little trimming. I won some chocolate for it though... ;D |
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Post by Sora on Jul 3, 2006 12:22:26 GMT -5
Aw, that's sad and nice at the same time! I like it. I have a poem I'd like someone to read but it's on a...darker note. xD
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mookipie
Master
Someone once told me I should get a life... do you think I could get one off ebay?
Posts: 328
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Post by mookipie on Jul 3, 2006 12:36:26 GMT -5
Tell me! Go on, it can't be as bad as mine.
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Post by Sora on Jul 3, 2006 12:59:14 GMT -5
xD Alright, let me get it out.
Feel the falling rain,
The dull pound around you,
and see them falling;
one by one-sparkling diamonds,
but red in your eyes.
Listen to the falling rain,
The dull pound echoing in your ears,
reflecting your soul, your emotion,
the wish that it would quench the fire.
Watch the falling rain,
see the sky cry,
as heavily as the tears you shed,
because of what youve been,
or what you wanted to be.
See the falling rain,
feel in quench the fire,
if not slightly, but still,
and see the light,
like gems paving the concrete.
Drown in the falling rain,
let it all fade out,
just let go,
let it all fade out,
and forever be in peace.
Meh. It's icky. ;-;
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mookipie
Master
Someone once told me I should get a life... do you think I could get one off ebay?
Posts: 328
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Post by mookipie on Jul 3, 2006 13:18:59 GMT -5
I love it!!! Especially the way you use each of the senses. Really depressing, but very well-written.  |
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Post by Sora on Jul 3, 2006 13:27:18 GMT -5
Thank you That made me happy xD |
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mookipie
Master
Someone once told me I should get a life... do you think I could get one off ebay?
Posts: 328
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Post by mookipie on Jul 3, 2006 13:53:02 GMT -5
Thats okay. I like to make people happy ;D
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Post by Amaranthout on Jul 3, 2006 21:14:12 GMT -5
You want depressing? Read my poems... Good, though, you guys. ^^
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Post by Sora on Jul 3, 2006 22:08:34 GMT -5
Hello person. xD Actually, that's one of my lighter poems...Heh.
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Post by Uni on Jul 3, 2006 22:54:43 GMT -5
Mine are depressing. I'm not gonna bother to post 'em.
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Post by Sora on Jul 3, 2006 23:11:17 GMT -5
I would like to read them...I have depressing ones, but I dont want to post them. Everyone would like, hate them. xD
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Post by Amaranth on Jul 4, 2006 8:35:15 GMT -5
No, we wouldn't. They didn't hate mine, and mine are depressing in the major. Did you read them?
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mookipie
Master
Someone once told me I should get a life... do you think I could get one off ebay?
Posts: 328
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Post by mookipie on Jul 4, 2006 11:52:46 GMT -5
Yes, they're really good! I'm afraid mine is a little dreadful... not half as depressing as any of yours. Its strange, everyone I know writes about the most depressing things.
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Post by Amaranth on Jul 4, 2006 21:50:01 GMT -5
That's because all the best people in the world listen to Evanescence and like anime. Whichis often depressing and hyper and funny all at the same time.
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Post by Uni on Jul 4, 2006 22:18:23 GMT -5
Yep! I do all of that. Depressing! Yay! Oh! And happy Fourth of July! The fire works here were awsome!
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